Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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