The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize