I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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