love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize