I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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