Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
