I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
