My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize