i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
