you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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