i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
