she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
