Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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