He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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