Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
