i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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