You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
