so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
