Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
be right there i have to get my cape
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
