The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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