Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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