I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
