Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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