At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
