Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
