Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
