I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
