just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize