You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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