He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
