I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
