I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
