Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
