im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize