she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
