it's too hot outside to masturbate.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
this boner is exhausting
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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