I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
