we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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