i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
