i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
