I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
