I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
