How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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