I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
