Buhtt sex?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
