he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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