I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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