he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
