No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
