Please, let me fuck your mom
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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