Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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