And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
