I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
