They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize