just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
