You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
