I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
