Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i dont even know how to be here
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize