hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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