You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
