Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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