U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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