he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
