at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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