Need sex. Gaining weight.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize