i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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