And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
im holly from the hills drunk
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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