I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
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