just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
