just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
