what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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