I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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