Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
