Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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