i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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