8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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