I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize