I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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