I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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