so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
