fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
