420 ftw
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
