idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
