Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Randomize
